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Okay... that last entry sucked... it's because I'm so distracted. So here's why... "I'm just a ghost in this house. I'm just a shaddow that haunts these halls. As quitely as a mouse I walk these halls. There is no whisper of hope. I'm just an echo of hearts on fire, but nothings out of control. My place, a bottomless hole. I'm just a ghost in this house." I'm starting to feel how it would if I lived on my own. Accept I'm not... I'm living at home. No one talks to me, they don't check in with me before they go places, my mother has stoped making four peoples worth of food for a "family" dinner. It's like I don't even exist. They only time they speak to me is if I went somewhere without telling them, and even things like that they blow it off. Honestly, in the past month my parents have said nothing to me, but "move". And my brother nothing, but "bitch". I know some people would say I have it good, because if no one ever talks to me I can't get in fights. Honestly I'd rather be fighting that to not know if the people around me even think of me. I don't know if Heather noticed, but at the recital. My parents didn't say a word to me. The only thing they said about me was to a lady in my choir "that one's mine". Then when they were leaving they told Heather they were, not me... If I hear my mom mention me on the phone she's complaining that if I were skinny I'd be such a knock out, but I'm too "lazy and stupid" to diet. Sorry if I embarrass you because I have hips! I was just tickled to go vistit with my grandfolks this weekend. They were all showing me off, and having me talk to all their friends. Even if I did have to help clean their house. I do the same at home. Then with my friends... There's really no one around I can talk to. Amber doesn't care. Heather's got way too many of her own problems. Jen's off at school. I haven't talked to Beatrice since the accident. I just don't have anyone to talk to... No one who cares. Although, more and more people are coming to me, and talking to me, because they want to associate with me, like after performances... Do you know what I mean? I sigh, and show off, people come up to me afterwards and want to be my friend. Which is kind of flattering, but knowing that if I ever see them again it will just be a wave or a smile. At any rate.... that's more than I'm getting now. OH! YAY! Everybody is going to love hearing Tamie whine about her crapy life. Well I don't care! I am a very petty person, and I love nothing more than people. Which is stupid, but still... I just wish... I dunno? I guess there's really nothing I could wish for that could change how things are going, huh? Well anyway... At least I still have my dog. Gawd... I'm so dumb... why the hell am I crying over this? Oh well.. night.
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