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I hate to bitch but I really got to get this off my chest, or there is no way I am going to be able to have fun this weekend. I just feel so put off. Is this a suprise? It shouldn't be, but after not talking to anyone who has any relevance to my life for nearly three weeks, I forgot what it was like to be blown off. It just kind of make me wonder which is worse... Is it worse to not have anyone, or to have people and constantly be let down? I am convinced there is no happy medium. You see, I was planning on going to the State Fair this weekend. I invited anyone who I thought might be good company. Time after time people found ways to foil my plans. Of course it is selfish of me to expect things of people, but it would be a lovely suprise if just once people could be forward enough to tell me the truth. Why do people feel they have to humor each other? I have no taste for this feeling. Care to have my list? In order of nearest to furthest, here are my excuses: Has a football game saturday night. Isn't comfortable driving. Can't get a hold of this person, so I don't know if I have a place to crash. These two people are gonna "try" to meet me at the mall, but no promises. This person couldn't get a hold of me so they didn't leave their cell number?.. So yeah... I feel pretty pissed on. Sure some of the reasons are okay, but how come everything conspires all this way at one time? And it's so dumb. I know no one really cared to do it anyway. If people want somthing, it is hard to disuade them from it. So once again, I'm contemplating why people feel so inclined to humor me. It hurts so much more when I'va actually had time to get excited. Even though my first intent was to go to State Fair. I'm going to the mall instead. Hopefully Mike and Fox won't bail on me. If they do, I will just leave right there and then, cry all the way back here, and become the recluse that I have been used to acting like. Although, I was at an increadible rate. I ate lunch with actual people 2 times in the past week. I'm on a roll. Now if only that fact didn't bring me to tears. On the upside. I talked to Joey on the phone today. If only he were as pleseant as his voice. He is imposible to talk to... but there's somthing to that... just... hrm... He's got a very deep voice, nice. Bleh... I also stayed up 'til late talking to Eddie. I felt bad, because I know he has work the next morning, but we had some very interesting conversations. Some were very creepy, but interesting nonetheless. Creepy was the word of the night. Note how I speak for hours with people who don't know me, but the people who know me won't gimme 2 words. I'm sorry I'm so horrible. I'm seriouse. I don't mean to be putting guilt trips. I just want to know what I am doing that makes people who know me hate me. That's enough for tonight. Night. ~TK
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